


Three Intoxicated Harlots

by CarrotRebel



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Crack!Fiction, Gen, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22773583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrotRebel/pseuds/CarrotRebel
Summary: Ship: Damon Salvatore x Alaric Saltzman x Reader (friendly) x (a not so friendly) Elijah MikaelsonGenre: Crack!FictionPrompt: ''But his nice hair makes up for it.''
Kudos: 3





	Three Intoxicated Harlots

You stumble over to the sofa before plopping yourself down in it, growing lazy after your's, Damon's and Alaric's night of adventures in the old Salvatore boarding house.

Your ears perk up as you hear the front door open, you grin mischievously as you glance up at Damon.

You lazily prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better view of the unannounced visitor.

''Greetings, peasants'' Elijah Mikaelson saunters in with his usual level of sass only to be faced with three intoxicated harlots.

''Mornin' sweetcheeks'' Alaric whines, giggling like a little bitch.

You follow suit, catcalling the already jaw clenched Mikaelson.

He stands bewildered, ''How large of a quantity have the three of you consumed?''

Alaric contorts attempting to point behind him at the now-empty bourbon bottles lay on the floor before rolling off the sofa with a 'PLONK!'.

Damon chuckles and shoots you a lopsided grin as the low-mumbling of the song in the background reaches its chorus ''I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you- I know you were right, believing for so long!'' Damon bursts out in song.

''I'm all out of love, what am I without you?'' a face down in the floor Alaric whimpers.

''It can't be too late, tO sAy ThAt I wAs sO wRoNg'' the three of you chant, lazily lifting your heads to sway to the rhythm.

''I'm an original, couldn't you show a little respect?'' he responds coarsely with narrowed eyes.

Alaric stumbles, clutching the armchair to lift himself to his feet ''I told you Elijah is one scary dude, but his nice hair makes up for it'' he giggles nodding his head as if to agree with himself.

You and Damon both follow suit in agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> For any questions or requests ask below or ask through discord [←～ Jim Moriarty (o｀▽´)oΨ]#4438
> 
> I hope you carpet beaters enjoyed..


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